I AM 40

Time flies when you're turning forty and forty days have never passed so quickly. I started the journey to the big day with the intention of doing three things. One, I tried to prepare myself for this milestone birthday and enter my new decade gracefully. Two, I uncovered a little bit of my past, dealt with some of my present and looked ahead into the future. And three, I stretched myself beyond limits over the last month or so as a reminder that, quite frankly, I AM... every woman.

As my friend Diane said, I have been saying that I was "almost 40" for months. It was sort of a mental game I played so that when it came time to say "I'm 40," it would just roll off the tongue a little easier. I like how it sounds honestly. I am 40. It's the look of it that still frightens me and gets me a little choked up. And that proves one thing. Age really is just a number.

It's the number that gets my panties in a bunch. It's the number that worries me and scares me and tortures me when I am standing in the checkout line at Shop'n'Save perusing the magazines. The number 40 is big. While it's name is short, the number is wide and it takes up space on a page. But what does 40 really mean?

In the bible, 40 is a significant number. It is the product of 5 and 8, which according to some scholars "points to the action of grace (the number 5), leading to and ending with revival and renewal (the number 8)."  So 40 means grace, revival and renewal. Also, in the bible, when God decided he wanted to cleanse the earth and start over, it rained for 40 days and 40 nights. Goliath came for 40 days before David took him out. The Israelites spent 40 years in the desert before entering the promised land. So 40  means starting over. It means victory over giant problems. 40 means no more wandering.

In math, 40 is a semi perfect number. The plant Venus forms a pentagram in the night sky every eight years but returns to it's original point every 40 years. In science, 40 is the number of zirconium which is known for it's resilience to corrosion. In football, the measure of the 40-yard dash is critical in scouting and the jersey number 40 has been retired by 10 teams in the NBA, Major League Baseball and the NFL.

40 is a big deal. And I am 40. I embrace all that it means, all that it stands for and all that it holds for me over the next year.