Day 5: Good Girlfriends

My high school friends & I outside the old arena
after a Steamers soccer game.

For years, I have preached the benefits of a woman's relationships with other women. And there have been moments, in the midst of my sermonizing, that I have been betrayed by or treated very badly by other women but those experiences do not change my stance. Women need other women in their lives.

There have been scientific studies that have shown that having positive relationships with other women improves a woman's health. A Harvard study suggested that female friends improves quality of life by delaying the onset of stress-related health problems common to women and increased a woman's ability to deal with painful situations.



My college friends with a few of
the guys.


I have great friends. It's not because I always deserve them but it is because I have allowed myself to make new friends at every juncture of my life.

For those who are not convinced, here are my top twelve reasons that female friendships are important:

1. Only a woman will commiserate with you over cramps one minute, which seems girly and weak; and join you on the adventure of a lifetime the next like holding an alligator or flying 40 MPH up the side of a mountain on a snowmobile, which is awesomely brave and womanly.


My friend of almost 40 years, Diane.



2. Female friends will sit up with you all night in your new apartment because you're too afraid to be there alone. And they will paint a wall in that apartment with one hand while unpacking your kitchen with the other.

3. Chicks will see chick flicks with you because they want to. Not because they hope it will earn them points.



Cindy, Christy, Lori, Kate, Heather & I
on our girls' trip to Colorado.


4. Good girlfriends will not only take a road trip with you but they will let you listen to Richard Marx or Show Tunes or whatever music will make you happy.

5. Women will tell you that skirt makes your butt look big. They will tell you that you can get those adorable shoes at Payless.

6. They will share other secrets with you too like which hair removal products work best and where you can find those bras that provide support on the sides, suck in the back fat and lift & gather in the front.

Tiffany & I standing in line
for my audition for
America's Got Talent.

7. Girl friends will talk to you until you are done talking. And they will leave you alone when you say you want to be left alone. But not completely. They will text you until you are ready to talk again and come by your house until you are ready to go out again. And they will never REALLY leave you alone because they know you don't mean it. They know you're just hurting. And they get it. Completely.

Cindy & I on her
40th birthday.



8. Female friends will support you on the way up, catch you on the way down & encourage you to try again until you succeed.

9. Women travel in packs. Yes, that's a good thing. Haven't you heard that there is strength in numbers? There's safety in numbers too. And, if you go to the bathroom alone and there's no toilet paper in your stall... Well, that never happens when you go with a friend!

10. Other women will go on a diet with you and they will go with you on a mission in the middle of the night to find chocolate cake.



My sister, Denise, and I a few
days ago.



11. Female friends will drive by your crush's house with you. Over and over again. And twice on Saturday nights.

12. Women come in all shapes and sizes and colors. And the personality & talent variety is amazing. The reason that is so great is because you are not limited to your shallow attractions when picking out your female friends like you are when choosing a mate. AND can have as many as you want. They can come from work or live in your neighborhood. You can meet them at school or church or the gym. They can be your sisters or your cousins or your aunts or your sister's cousin's aunt. There are no rules. And that is so very liberating.

Now go hug your friends. Or find some. It's good for you!